Why is it that when a couple seems to
have everything, fame, fortune, health,
and an adorable child it doesn't work?
It's enough to make everyone else
hopeless. After all, if the celebs have
everything and can't make it, what are
the chances of the rest of us? Over the
years, a strange phenomenon has been
taking place in the celebrity land where
by re-union of movie and music stars,
top athletes and others in the limelight
hardly last, indeed. So the question is
why do marriages of most celebrities
crash frequently?
Some marriage counselors and experts,
who spoke to Monday times on the
issue, gave us various reasons for the
breakup of celebrity marriages.
•NATURE OF THEIR JOB
Maria Khagoda, a marriage counselor,
attributes it to their hectic jobs and
lifestyles. "The job they do could affect their marriages," she noted, stating:
"The man who loves you starts to loose
feelings because of the demands of the
job that you do or he does. Your
husband, for instance, wants you to be
home, but you cannot be at home
because you are either on location or
doing one story or another. Again, as a man, your wife may want you home, but you can't be home because you are out there socializing as a celebrity. That is because celebrities are expected and
known to be extroverts. At least 90% of them are so, and they are either
attending parties or going to bars or
clubs. Your wife may not like all that. At the end, even when you have kids, all these factors take their toll and it gets to a point when one of the parties says that he or she has had enough, and then packs his/her bag and leaves."
• FAME
Fame is dangerous to relationships for
at least a couple of reasons. Most
troubling is that it demands that a
couple spend time away from each
other. "My research of over 400 married
women showed that the number one
indicator of happiness in a marriage was
the amount of time spent with one's
spouse. Women who were happily
married reported spending a daily
average of over 30 minutes of
uninterrupted time talking to their man.
Unhappy women reported a daily
average of less than 30 minutes and 24
percent of those unhappy women
reported that they spent less than five
minutes a day talking to their
husbands", said Teddy Karugaba
counselor Mulago Hospital.
•LACK OF MARITAL UNDERSTANDING
In his view, Evelyn Namugamba lecturer
Makerere school of psychology, attributes the issue to a lack of
understanding of what marriage entails
as well as people marrying for frivolous
reasons."The reason for all these
marriage break-ups is that they don't
understand what marriage is about, they
see it as a feather to their cap," he
opined. "They gather people together,
go to church and stand before the altar
to exchange vows. There's more to
marriage than that. Then, people marry
for what they see, the physical
appearance and not what's inside the
person. It's the content that should
count."
•MANY CELEBRITY LIVE A FALSE LIFE
"Many celebrities live a false life," so
said Herbert Mutunzi, a counselor. He
stated that the pressure to live up to
certain standards and give a good
impression of themselves contributes to
marital splits among them. "I think that
celebrity marriages are breaking
because they put too much pressure on
themselves. Also because of their status
they try to live up to the standard of
others. They tend to live a life that is not
theirs. The pressures of wanting to
create or give people the impression of
having a sense of perfection, that makes
many of these marriages to crumble.
"That is because; there is so much
pretence in such marriages. If only they
can learn to be themselves in such
marriages. People have to learn how to
be themselves. People should not allow
the pressure of their work get to them,"
he said.
•INFIDELITY
Another common factor that runs
through most celebrity break-ups is the
issue of infidelity. Some spouses leave
the marriage when they can no longer
bear the indiscretions of an unfaithful
partner. On this, Sophie Nantogo stated:
"There is also infidelity but this is not
restricted to celebrities only- it's a
major source of marital discord today.
But what make that of celebrities
different are the temptations they face
regularly. Because of living their life
constantly in the spotlight and their
fame, they have more opportunities than
the 'average Joe' to stray. When
musicians, for instance, go on shows,
girls throw themselves at them. Even a
monk can get tempted with all that is
offered. If one partner is constantly
unfaithful, it can cause discord in the
marriage."
•JEALOUSY
"Jealousy can also be a problem in a
union between two celebrities," she
added. If one, for instance, has more
fame, more success than the other, it
can cause problems if the other party
does not have the strength of character
to cope with his or her partner being
constantly in the limelight. "It takes a
very strong man or woman to endure his
wife, for instance, being more famous,
getting more attention than them."
•THE MEDIA
The media has also been blamed for
destroying celebrity relationships.
In an analysis of why celebrity marriages fail, media scholar Professor Joel Isabirye
has apportioned substantial blame on
the media.In a recent post on his
facebook wall he said, "been having this discussion about thomas-komuntale marriage issue on a friend's wall. One
suggestion there sounds like 'most if not
all celebrity marriages fail.' and my view
posted there and which i have held since
a long time ago is: "the failure of
celebrity couples is really not always
about the celebrities themselves. It is
really about the media."
• LACK OF GOD INTERVENTION
"Why will their marriages not crash
when they are building it on themselves
and not on the initiator of the
institution?" so declared Pastor Aloysius
Bujingo of House of prayer. To him,
marriage had a manual which had to be
followed if you want a successful
marriage. "God is the brain child of
marriage and there is nothing any man
or woman can do to make marriage
succeed except they both go back to
God. You cannot give what you don't
have, so being in marriage without
knowing God, is fake. It is pretending to
give what you do not have in you. And
again, most of these celebrities do not
live by the precepts, ordinances and
rules and regulation that God has given
as far as marriage is concerned. There
is always a rule. Life is about principles.
There are principles as far as marriage
is concerned and that is how it can work
as far as they want it to work," he said.
While there are various reasons why
celebrities marriages to fail, the price of
fame, media intrusion and the pressures
of work are all given as the most visible
reasons.
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